NO GREATER JOY: Arrows Crafted in Truth

The other day, I had an interesting conversation with another homeschooling mom.  We were discussing career paths and college admissions.  We shared our reservations about pursuing some less-guaranteed areas of study.  She has one child and I have five.  One of mine is already in college.

She said, “Well, at least you have five chances, I only have one.”

Did you ever wish you hadn’t intercepted a conversation because you missed where it was going? My interception was, “Chances?, it’s not like I have an option to allow three or four of my chances to be near-misses.”  I only wish I had asked her to further explain what she was thinking……it has been gnawing at me ever since.

3 John 2-4 says, “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.  For I rejoiced greatly when brethren came and testified of the truth that is in you, just as you walk in the truth.  I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”

When we read the well-known passage in Psalm 127:3-5, there are a couple very familiar verses that are often quoted with regards to children:

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.  Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them…..”

Clearly, we draw from this passage that children are given as a blessing, a reward, in fact. With the word, “heritage”, we understand that the blessing will pass on to further generations and connect the parents’ lives to the further successes our children enjoy.  

Many look not only to the accomplishments of Charles and John Wesley, but to their amazing mother, Susanna, who spent separate hours with each of her many children, imparting the Word of Truth and intensive teaching.  She had a great “heritage”, and her arrows were well-directed.

I think my friend’s funny “chances” concept may reveal that we may somehow think we are given each child to prove our homeschooling “muscle”.  Many of us may be tempted to benchmark that we are going to hit the “target”.  However, the challenge with homeschooling is that there are years when we are hidden in the butterfly’s chrysalis, the quiet, hidden place where the most important work is happening, the time when no one can judge whether the butterfly will emerge with the anticipated form or not.

The “arrows” verse tempts us to consider whether some arrows hit the target, and others disappoint.  Surely, our Lord has no intention for us to live in the fear of misdirected arrows. He intends diversity in their destinations, for the sake of His immense purpose.  There is not only one red target in heavenly warfare; but there IS one common design for a spiritual arrow.

We desire for our children to have doors of opportunity opened to them by way of their education.  If, as may be the case with some, their souls don’t prosper to the degree we hope, we would want them to have the opportunity to prosper as adults until His kindness shepherds them to a place of personal discipleship.

A good honest question for parents today is: Which things cause “no greater joy” in our hearts? Academic achievement?  Shielding them from difficulty? Prosperity? Health and safety? Spiritual well-being?

When the day comes for us to pull back on our “arrows” and release them, have we been careful to assure that the truth is in them?   As the passage in 3 John says, we, as parents, pray for our children to “prosper in all things and be in good health AS their souls prosper”.  Our arrows need to be crafted with truth.  Let us take heart and remember that there is NO GREATER JOY for us than that our children “walk in truth”.

Pack Light!

Our fourteen checked bags, seven carry-ons, and the backpacks on our shoulders seemed a bit much for a late summer vacation.  However, when you realize this was all we were taking with us to our new life in Puerto Rico, you will agree that the seven of us packed lightly.

As with anything new and especially different, I remained rather objective those first couple weeks in Puerto Rico.  I was only mildly annoyed every morning when my neighbor's chickens would fly over the fence, station themselves right below my bedroom window and crow. Quickly, I took finding creatures of every sort in-stride. Creatures ranging from fire-ants to lizards to tarantulas could be found anywhere and everywhere, including in the shower.

Upon acquaintance, beautiful Puerto Rico was charming enough to endear any objective mind.  Mine, however, was only temporarily clouded by objectivity.  In my determination to dislike Puerto Rico, every less-than-ideal characteristic became a charge that justified my case.

I had over-packed.  I had stowed away all sorts of burdensome articles: my pride, misconceptions, prejudice, unreasonable expectations, and close-mindedness.  They were in my pockets, in the soles of my shoes, and in my heart. Even TSA did not pick-up on these forbidden pests, and I bore their weight into Puerto Rico, and all the way through those first years.

This miserable existence needed to end; it was time to give Puerto Rico a chance.  Slowly but surely, I opened the blinds on my heart, to see things in a new light.  No, I did not dismiss the faults of Puerto Rico.  I still heard when a total stranger would scold me, saying, “You live in Puerto Rico, so you need to speak Spanish!”  I was still affronted by countless stories of government corruption and my firsthand experiences with a broken healthcare system.  I considered it a crime against humanity that, in this infernally hot place, the starting price for ice cream was eight dollars per half gallon.  

The difference came when I began to acknowledge the strengths of Puerto Rico.  For every rude stranger I met, there were others who went out of their way to befriend me.  While I do not prefer being assaulted with kisses by everyone I meet, I have grown to appreciate Puerto Rico’s courteous yet outgoing cultural practices.  Even its unpardonable failings I now consider eye-openers to what it is to be from a very different cultural setting.   I empathize with an immigrant who comes to the U.S. unable to speak English, receives insensitive remarks and feels the same loneliness.

Six years later, I am still disposing of my excess luggage.  In its place are some lighter substitutes: good memories, funny stories, a newfound love for Puerto Rico, and plenty of sand.  For whatever journeys of the heart that lay in the future, I have learned one thing: to “pack light,” and leave room for souvenirs, memories and priceless lessons gained on my adventures.

Homeschooling to the Last Stretch--College!

We were blessed to have our first daughter receive notice that she has been offered admission to Williams College in Massachusetts via Early Decision. Williams is a highly selective “Little Ivy”, and recently ranked #1 among Liberal Arts colleges by U.S. News and World Report.

Our homeschooling journey began when Abi was ready for Pre-K/Kindergarten and our third daughter was on the way. We were living on a tight, one-income budget in Baltimore City. We undoubtedly wanted to avoid sending the kids to public school, and the private Christian schools would have been too expensive if I hoped to stay home with the younger kids. We were also attracted to homeschooling because it was “portable”, and could be brought to the missionfield. Since that first year, our family increased to five children, and we relocated to Puerto Rico 6-years-ago as church-planting missionaries.

For me, homeschooling has been an amazing faith-journey. I actually miss the yearly check-in/evaluations that we had in the states because I felt assured by the other set of eyes to encourage us. I struggle with wondering if we’re doing enough, just as all homeschooling parents do. We focused on extensive reading and rigorous writing via programs like Sonlight and IEW. Our other favorite curriculum choices include: Apologia science, Math-U-See, All-American History, and Notgrass. Abi read most of the books in our sizable library.

She spent a semester in a private, Christian school when she was in junior high. A generous family offered to sponsor her, sensing that it would be “best”. I didn’t feel anything was broken about our homeschooling at the time, but thought it would boost her Spanish and give her some more friends. The experience was a mixed one and I would recommend the school without reservation. But when she confided that she thought the way we studied history and science was more interesting, I became concerned. I also noticed that she came home with so much memorizing/homework, that we would probably no longer find as much time for extra-curriculars, no less, leisurely reading. She did, however, receive straight A’s, and that was reassuring. In the end, we decided to bring her back home, and the Lord did an awesome settling work with me as I trusted Him for the finishing stretch.

Our four oldest are very blessed to be given the opportunity to participate in a government-sponsored, after school, music institute. I will admit that I think activities like this were very important to having sufficient extra-curriculars and recommendations. Abi also worked at a library through a youth employment program for a short time and volunteers at a library now. We were unable to take dual-enrollment courses as many homeschoolers do, but we added an online literature course in the junior year and two online AP courses this year. In hindsight, these should have been taken earlier. She was limited in her recommendations for scholarships and applications, both due to extra-curricular/music teachers who only spoke Spanish, and few other “academic” recommendations. The online courses were our best provisions and it would have proven even more helpful to have taken more in the junior year instead.

The PSAT was a springboard from which to shoot high. Her scores were high enough for her to begin receiving materials from very selective schools. As a low-income family (missionaries), a program called QuestBridge has been very encouraging. QuestBridge targets students with high PSAT and/or SAT scores, and has an extensive application for two stages of scholarships. This process included transcripts, essays and recommendations. Receiving this honor was an important catalyst, and their student forums and materials kept us well-informed of many opportunities. She applied for “fly-ins”-- college-sponsored, all expenses paid visits to campus and was awarded one to Dartmouth and another at Trinity in Hartford. She was disappointed when she didn’t receive the Williams fly-in grant, but they extended the Early Decision to her upon further review of her application, which led to her admission. We came to learn that more than 40% of Williams’ incoming freshman class were accepted through the Early Decision program. Therefore, being decisive about your first choice school can really give you a cutting-edge.

We allowed her the freedom to truly concentrate on standardized test preparation during the end of the Junior year, as well as early this year. She increased her SAT scores by more than 10% between the spring and the fall. She also took three SAT subject tests and had one high score, one “average” score, and one not-so-amazing score.

Our children began submitting entries for the VFW Voice of Freedom and Patriot’s Pen scholarships about 4 years ago. Abi was given first place for the Latin American Division last year. Not only did she receive a scholarship, but VFW sponsored her for two enriching trips and provided her with friends from every state and territory in the U.S..   Homeschoolers are well represented in these competitions. Additionally, she participated in the local American Legion competition last year (lots of work!). I reflected these on her transcript as both Speech and Constitutional Law.

Essays were probably the strongest part of her applications for QuestBridge and Williams. The years put into emphasizing reflective, well-crafted writing were well worth the effort. Within the QuestBridge forum group, she was given a “coach” from an Ivy League school, as well as an opportunity for peer review of her essays. These were very helpful. Her writing has developed beyond her mother’s expertise (along with many academic areas. ie., Calculus, Chemistry, Economics!!), so a network like this helped immensely. I would add that I feel exegetical Bible study and reflection, as demonstrated by her father, a missionary/pastor, has developed an analytical, reflective thinker, and no other “curriculum” could have done as well as Christian apologetics seen through real life experience.

Allowing our Christian daughter to attend a “liberal”, secular college can be controversial. She made her decision to attend Williams very carefully. Among some of the strong factors were her proximity to family, and a sister-church with a pastor who is a long-time friend. We also came to understand that financial aid is perhaps more comprehensive at selective schools. Many are discouraged by the overall “price”, but Williams is one of the schools that promises to meet 100% of financial need. Her proposed financial aid package includes no loans.

During the process, Abi completed six live or Skype interviews with school alumnae. One recurring question was: How do you think you will adjust to the social life on campus after homeschooling? We chuckled about this, concluding that the interviewer felt this showed they had done research on the “issues” with homeschoolers. She felt she was successful in making a case for her “fit” at liberal arts schools, due to her self-directed flexibility in homeschooling. Multiple times, after explaining our “tutorial” methods and independent coursework, the interviewers admitted that her education seemed to be a good fit for a liberal arts education.

I write about our experience to encourage homeschool parents and students. It is by faith that we trust God for the provision when a toddler is attempting to eat another crayon under our feet, while we are trying to teach the older child to read. By faith we choose the materials that work, as well as the ones that disappointed us a bit. I am in awe at how homeschooling has become a lifestyle where we love learning. As the “teacher”, I have learned more during these years than I did during my own school and college years. More than anything, we’ve learned to have the confidence to actively answer our own questions and seek answers--trusting Him with it all.